BLÅHAJ RAEARCH ONGOING(trust the guy named IAMDUMB)★ SHARK LEVELS: CRITICAL(PLS DONT DIE OF CUTENESS)★ DO YOU NEED ONE? PROBABLY YES(ALSO ME PLS)★ CERTIFIED SOFTNESS TECHNOLOGY★ IKEA CANNOT BE HELD REDPONSIBLE★ BLÅHAJ RESEARCH ONGOING★ SHARK LEVELS: CRITICAL★ DO YOU NEED ONE? PROBABLY YES★ CERTIFIED PLUSH TECHNOLOGY★ IKEA CANNOT BE HELD RESPONSIBLE★
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SHARKONOMICS

The world's most rigorous scientific institute dedicated to answering humanity's most pressing question: should you buy a Blåhaj?

▶ PROS ▶ CONS ▶ VERDICT
▼ SCROLL DOWN ▼
RESEARCH DATA
INSTITUTE STATISTICS

Real numbers from our very real laboratory. Do not question these.

0BLÅHAJ STUDIED
0CUDDLES LOGGED
0%REGRET RATE
0BEDS TAKEN OVER
HAPPINESS INDEX
BLÅHAJ HAPPINESS INDEX™

Peer-reviewed data from a study of 1 person (me).

HAPPINESS LEVELS AFTER SHARK OWNERSHIP (out of 100)
OWNERSHIP
JOY
CUDDLE
SCORE
BED
SPACE
MEME
POWER
EMOTIONAL
SUPPORT
WALLET
HEALTH
QUICK OVERVIEW
HIGHLIGHTS

A taste of what our researchers discovered. Viewer discretion advised.

001

ELITE CUDDLE GEOMETRY

Aerodynamically optimized for maximum spooning. Scientists are baffled.

002

CERTIFIED SEROTONIN

Touching it releases chemicals. Good ones. We think.

003

LEGENDARY INTERNET STATUS

Owning one grants +50 clout on all platforms. Tested. Verified. Unhinged.

001

BED TERRITORY DISPUTE

The BLÅHAJ claims 40% of your mattress. It will win. You will lose.

002

FRIEND THEFT EPIDEMIC

100% of visitors attempt to steal your BLÅHAJ. Lock your doors.

003

EMOTIONAL DEPENDENCE

You will name it. You will apologize to it. You will never be normal again.

ALL PROS ▶ ALL CONS ▶ FINAL VERDICT ▶